Wednesday, March 17, 2004

Report: Day 14 

First of all, paying everyone you come in contact with a compliment is really hard work. So early on I decided that every time a compliment did not immediately occur to me I would say, "my heavens, what a fine hat!" I took this compliment from the list of sample compliments provided in the Benrick book.

This went on, more or less, all day when my path crossed with The One true Love of my Life. "Oh, my heavens!" I said. "That is a very fine hat!"

Her mouth parted just a bit and her expression sort of glazed over as she processed the compliment. And to be fair there was a lot to process. First the translation difficulties as The One True Love of my Life learned English as a second language. Add to that the fact that she was not wearing a hat at the time.

After a lengthy silence she shook her head and said, "oh, Brian, you cray-sey! You so cray-sey! So cray-sey! Here. You want? Have Cheeto. Take Cheeto. I get napkin, I have so many Cheeto you take what you want I have so many! You cray-sey!"

And may I just say to everyone reading this that you look lovely today. Simply lovely. And you smell so nice, is that a new perfume?

Today I'm supposed to be gay for a day. Except I'm already gay. So I am to follow the alternate instruction indicated after the asterisk at the bottom of the page. "Gays: Be straight for a day!" So today I'm going back into the closet.

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