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Saturday, June 05, 2004

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Friday, June 04, 2004

Report: Day 86 

Listen, I already go to the other side of the tracks every day when I go to work. The law school isn't in the best neighborhood. Naturally, just going to work would not be enough. So last night I went to get my hair cut in Hackensack. For those of you who do not know, except for a condo district on top of a hill, Hackensack is a hole.

So, I made the treacherous journey to the ghetto Supercuts on Essex street where I waited more than an hour to get my hair cut by a woman who did not speak English and who smelled of curry. Describing what I wanted was difficult, but I managed to find a picture. She did a marvelous job. Marvelous. I should slum a little more often.

Today is Morse Code day.




Thursday, June 03, 2004

Report: Day 85 

I think it was lovely. It was my original plan to have my logo put on a red balloon for releasing purposes, but the company I hired to do that did not get the balloons I ordered back to me in time, so I printed out a couple of logos on paper and put my email address on the back.

I took Bevin to the nearest party supply store and bought 2 red helium filled balloons. We tied my logo on to the string making them official Soonerverse balloons. Then we took one each over to a median in the center of Route 3 in Clifton, New Jersey, very near the Party City.

"Are you ready?" Bevin asked?

"Wait!" I responded. "I want to say a few words first."

"Well hurry, Brian," she said, "It's gonna rain any minute."

I took a deep breath and said, "We release these official Soonerverse balloons, these emmisaries of the Soonerverse, with the expectation that they will travel far and kill nothing." And on a three count Bevin and I released the balloons into a thunder storm.

We watched them until we could not see them anymore, enduring the jeers of the Jersey motorists who were passing by.

"God speed, Soonerverse balloons," whispered Bevin. "God speed."

Today I will travel to the wrong side of the tracks.




Wednesday, June 02, 2004

Report: Day 84 

Well, it rained all day yesterday, which was a total pain in the ass. So I didn't get to the fruit stand to buy an apple to harvest its seeds and plant them in the park. And I didn't get to the park to plant anything. However, I did bring a couple of apricots with my lunch so I had two fruit tree stones ready and available for planting.

Of course, because I didn't want to get wet I had to find some place to plant them inside the law school. So I wandered around and found two large potted plants. I buried the stones in the soil without disturbing the potted plants and I look forward to the contracted plant keepers tending to my apricot trees in the coming years.

Today I will release a red balloon.




Tuesday, June 01, 2004

Report: Day 83 

Today I called a friend three timezones away at what would have been for her a very early hour. I told her that I thought human time keeping was arbitrary and I asked her to reset her clocks to eastern daylight time and carry out her day on Eastern time.

"Can you do that for me?" I asked.

"Yes," was the resolute answer. "I can."

"Good," I said. "It's already nine a.m. Aren't you late for work?"

I am waiting for a report on the rest of her day.

Today I am planting an apple tree in the park.




Monday, May 31, 2004

Report: Day 82 

I spent my first thirty minutes in the lotus position and I have to say it was a very relaxing exercise just being still. I had the news on the radio in the background, but I paid it little attention. My mind wandered to and fro and hither and thither. About 25 minutes into the experiment my feet fell asleep from the ankles down and I got all tingly and uncomfortable, but I stuck it out for the full 30 minutes. The Dahli Lama would have been very proud of me.

Today I will do something about the arbitrariness of human time keeping.



Sunday, May 30, 2004

Report: Day 81 

Benrick has a very unconventional definition of celebrate. The specific assigned task was to lure a fly on to the Day 81 page and then smash it into the book. This celebration of nature involved destroying a little part of it. Sort of like celebrating independence day with a few nuclear detonations. Also it would have soiled my book.

So, I celebrated nature by declining to shower and walking around barefoot all day. Yes, my hair was a mess, but that was its natural state. Yes, I was a little smelly, but it was a natural musk. Yes, the natural waxy buildup in my ears went unchallenged and unremoved.

It was really very liberating and I discovered I had tons of extra time. And I cannot help but constantly evaluate the fact that if I spent less time everyday trying to avoid offending you I could get so much more done. This fact is not lost on me.

Today I am sitting in the lotus position for thirty minutes.




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