Monday, March 08, 2004

Report: Day 5 

Officially I was supposed to cut the pre-printed out of order sign from the book and paste that up on something during the day. However I quickly noticed that if I were to cut the sign out, my travel plans for the rest of my life would be destroyed. So I opted to make my own sign. And dare I say it, I think I improved on the design from the book a little.

See my sign, made entirely from ordinary paper and ink from a red Sharpy, said, "Out of Order! Sorry." And then there was a little frowny face. I think the frowny face added character and the "sorry" added a human dimension to the whole total societal break down. Even though I'm trying to change my life, I'm resolute that the new me will still care about people. That's something I just won't change, ok? I just won't.

I have to say that I was a little disappointed that this particular task fell on a Sunday because I would have loved to have sabotaged something in the library with my frowny face sign and been able to watch the subsequent chaos from my safe perch at the reference desk. But one must play the cards one is dealt. One must.

Regardless I set out looking for the perfect place to cause a total societal breakdown. I thought that the ladies room of a local coffee shop would be pretty perfect. And I thought that posting it on an escalator that was clearly running could be fun. But as I was leaving my friend's apartment, tape on the back of my sign, my mission looming, inspiration struck. I stepped into the elevator and as I pressed the ground floor key I realized that what I absolutely had to do was to post my sign over the elevator controls inside the elevator.

What better way to bring about total societal breakdown than to get some unsuspecting people into an elevator before telling them that the elevators were out of order. I imagined panic stricken faces as the doors closed sealing them in. Would they think to try the buttons anyway, or would they simply obey the sign and pray someone else would call for the elevator from the outside and free them. Maybe they would get on the emergency phone and call for help. "Help us! We're in elevator number 2 and the sign says the controls are out of order! What do we do?!"

Today I must write the opening sentence of my debut novel.

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